Not the Last Dragonlord
by hellomynameisv
Summary: An AU to the Last Dragonlord, in which Gaius doesn't tell Merlin who his father is, and Balinor finds out a different way. AKA a fic that includes a long forgotten love story, a magic reveal, an outsmarted king, and Gaius's eyebrow.
1. A Revelation

**This is somehow my first Merlin fic...even though the show ended years ago. Please don't kill me! In my defense, I was barely eight when the show ended.**

**I wouldn't have known this show even existed if the fandom wasn't still alive, so props to you (and random youtube recommendations). So now that I know enough about the show, I decided to contribute a little something.**

**Read and review!**

**Summary: An AU to the Last Dragonlord, in which Gaius doesn't tell Merlin who his father is, and Balinor finds out a different way. AKA a fic that includes a long forgotten love story, a magic reveal, an outsmarted king, and Gaius's eyebrow.**

* * *

_Balinor finds her outside, feeding the birds that liked to flock up in the area. He takes the time to admire her natural beauty before she catches him, giving him a knowing smile._

_"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were jealous of them," she teases, gesturing to the birds at her feet._

_"And what if I am?" he asks._

_"Well," she walks up to him, "turns out I don't know you as well as I thought I did." She looks up at him with a mock pout on her face._

_"It is quite reasonable," he muses with an exaggerated nod. "I have barely been here a year."_

_"And yet, it feels that we have known one another for much longer," she finishes, giving him a short but loving kiss._

_When they finish, he wraps her up in his arms, not planning to let go anytime soon. Together, they looks out at the forest surrounding them, reveling in the peace and serenity here. Camelot seemed so far away._

_"Hunith," he says softly, the thought seeming to come out of nowhere, "what would have happened if I wasn't a wanted man?"_

_"What do you mean?" she asks with a frown. But her eyes still shown with the happiness from before._

_"Would we have stayed here forever? Had children? Died here in our old age?"_

_She doesn't show any outward expression of surprise, and he wonders if she had been wondering the same thing._

_"Well...we would have certainly started a family. A girl and a boy, hopefully. And I think we would've been happy. So happy."_

_He smiles, caught up in that dream that would probably never happen. But for now, he could hope._

_"And if we did have children, what would you name them?" he asks her._

_"I'm not sure about a girl name, but I think I'd name our son Merlin. I have always been fond of those birds."_

_"A lovely name, indeed."_

_But then Uther had found out where he resided, and shattered this life full of hope and happiness. The life he never knew he had wanted until Hunith had come into his life. (Or rather, him into hers.) The life he had wished for with all his being._

_They had never had a chance, had they?_

* * *

He finds it quite fitting that the first person he's had an actual conversation with in years is named Merlin. It's almost as if fate is trying to tell him something.

But he buries the memories, shoves them far into the recesses of his mind. He doesn't want to remember.

Both Merlin and 'Lancelot' (ahem, Uther Pendragon's son) attempt to convince him to help Camelot. But why should he, when her king had hunted down his kind and destroyed his life?

And really, he had healed the prince's life when he had had all the reason not to. If anything they should owe _him_.

Unfortunately, his resolve falters when Merlin mentions Gaius. _Gaius_. It had been so long ago when he had helped him to escape. Balinor knows that he would always be indebted to the kind and gentle physician.

"A good man," he ends up saying instead. And then they leave, anger evident on both faces.

This is when he really thinks it over. The way the boy had spoken (_"The nobility of dragonlords!"_)_,_ it seemed that Gaius had much confidence in him. Confidence that he didn't deserve.

_Not if you help them._

He has a newfound resolve to follow the pair.

* * *

_Balinor has never been adept at farming. He's quite handy with a blade, even more so when whittling wood. But he's entirely hopeless when it comes to these kinds of things._

_He hears Hunith behind him, attempting to muffle her laughter, and stands up, dirt covering his clothes._

_"What?" he asks with a sheepish expression and raised eyebrows. (Nothing compared to Gaius's, though.)_

_"Here, let me help."_

_Instead of handing her the hoe, he smothers her in his embrace, effectively getting dirt all over her._

_"Balinor!" she shrieks, gently pushing him away. "You're such a...dollophead!"_

_"Dollophead?"_

_"Yes, dollophead."_

_"Did you just make that up? Is that even a real word?"_

_"If I say it, then it must be a real word," she answers him, amusement sparkling in her eyes._

_"What does it mean, then?"_

_"It implies that your head is rather small." She laughs at his fake expression of hurt, grabbing the hoe and proceeding to do _proper _farming._

_And despite all the dirt smudged on her face, he doesn't think she's ever looked more beautiful._

* * *

Balinor manages to catch up to them with little difficulty, mostly because of their excessively loud bantering. He thinks Merlin to be either the bravest or the stupidest manservant ever in order to continually insult the crown prince. (On second thought, they seem more like friends, which gives him a newfound respect for Arthur. However, as time goes on, he ends up labeling both as stupid, and wonders what Uther must think of the pair.)

When they finally catch him following them, he mentions people helping him to escape and a debt that must be payed. Arthur's brow furrows while Merlin nods with understanding. It makes Balinor wonder how much the boy knows.

Not enough, apparently. For Balinor soon deduces that he is more than he seems.

* * *

"You dollophead!" Merlin exclaims.

Balinor promptly chokes on his water, but none of them notice in their bickering over...something. He honestly doesn't know, at this point.

"Now, what say, is a dollophead, Merlin?"

"In two words?"

"Yes."

"Prince Arthur."

If Balinor hadn't been so distracted with the past, he probably would've snorted at the exchange. As it was, he hadn't, so the only one suffering under the prince's glare was Merlin.

_Dollophead? _he thinks, repeating the word again and again in his head. He doesn't quite know what to think of it. He's fairly certain Hunith was the only one who used the word since she was the one who invented it...but then, how was this possible?

_Perhaps she didn't invent it?_ Balinor highly doubts that. _Then Merlin must know Hunith in some way, right?_

The boy intrigues Balinor. He has the name, 'Merlin', of all things! He insists on calling his master a 'dollophead'!

And though Balinor tries to chalk it up to mere coincidence, there is a small part of him that still manages to hope. (Because, if anything, life has taught him not to hope.) It hopes that...maybe, this is Hunith's child. Not just Hunith's child, _his _child. He and Hunith had had that one night, after all. That night before he left had been filled with sadness, but also love. Maybe this was the result of that one night.

_Hunith probably remarried_, he thinks, trying to drown out his hope. It has been a while, and he wouldn't put it past her. He would want her to move on.

But now that the thought that THIS MAY BE HIS CHILD is in his head, he can't help but notice so much more. How Merlin's eyes seem to have the same blue color as Hunith's. How his unruly black hair and ears that stick out seem to match his own features. How he seems to have Hunith's kindness, and Balinor's lack of respect for authority.

He can't unsee it now.

So when Arthur orders Merlin to gather firewood, he begins a light interrogation of the prince.

"The two of you seem to be more than servant and master. One could even say you were friends, if they did not know your status."

"Well...yes. Merlin, he is very loyal, for a reason I can not fathom. He _is _an idiot, but there are times when he has great wisdom." He meets Balinor's eyes. "But my father would not approve of this closeness between us. You, of all people, should know how...controlling he is."

Balinor simply nods, for what more could be said of the Great Purge?

"Don't tell Merlin I said that. He'll never let me hear the end of it," Arthur finishes in that tone only a royal could perfect.

He chuckles. "Tell me, is he from Camelot? He doesn't seem like it."

"No. He hails from a small village in Lot's Kingdom. Ealdor, it is called. Perhaps you've heard of it." Arthur seems to wince at a memory that captures his attention.

He tries not to let his surprise show. "I don't believe I have. How did he come to be in Camelot?"

"His mother sent him to apprentice with Gaius, the court physician whom you apparently know. I believe Gaius is his uncle."

He attempts to keep up the conversation in a nonchalant way. "Do you know if he has any brothers or sisters?"

Arthur narrows his eyes. "Why so many questions about Merlin?" There is a protective air around the prince that Balinor does not want to breach.

Apparently, he hadn't been as subtle as he had thought. "Just...curiosity. He seems well-versed in insults."

"Ah, that's just Merlin for you. Never knows when to keep his mouth shut. As far as I know, he has no siblings. However, he _does _have a very sweet mother, Hunith, whom I have had the pleasure of meeting."

"And his father?" Balinor waits with bated breath.

Arthur shrugs. "Merlin's never known him. Bastard left before he was born."


	2. A Bit of Magic

He should've expected bandits to attack them. It was just his luck as a dragonlord.

Merlin throws him a sword and they all start to fight, slowly whittling the enemy down one by one.

He has to admit that Arthur has skill. He takes down each attacker with much ease, and a sort of practiced elegance, that come from good instincts and years of training.

His manservant (His son?), on the other hand, is far from adept with a blade. He trips and stumbles around, and Balinor is surprised that he hasn't accidentally impaled himself cleaning the prince's sword. The only thing saving him are the bandits seeming to be as clumsy as him, dropping their swords as though burned, and random tree branches conveniently falling on top of them, knocking them unconscious.

Balinor knows there can only be one explanation for all of that, and a yellow flash of the boy's eyes only do to confirm his suspicions. _Magic._

Right under Uther's nose.

Scratch that. He's surprised Merlin hasn't died several times over. (Not that he'd hope that on his son.)

Balinor continues fighting, worry ebbing away as it seems that, as useless and clumsy as he may seem, Merlin _can _protect himself.

The real question is if he chooses to do so, as Balinor soon finds out. His panic comes back in full force around 30 seconds later (Merlin really couldn't keep out of trouble, could he?) when Merlin saves Arthur from an attacker with his magic, roughly pushing the bandit away and into a tree. However, he does not see the one behind him.

"Merlin!" he screams, rushing to him because, damn it, he's not losing his son when he just found out he _had _one.

Fortunately, Merlin hears the urgency in his voice and turns around abruptly, pushing the bandit away with a flash of his eyes. For now, Balinor decides to ignore the fact that he did that without uttering a spell out loud.

The bandits are all gone now. They're all breathing heavily, but nobody talks.

A shout breaks the quiet. "You have magic!" accuses the prince, for he is Uther Pendragon's son, after all, and nothing will change the fact that he was raised to despise magic.

"Please, Arthur," Merlin pleads, and the look of fear, sadness, and guilt on his face just about breaks Balinor's heart. (Why did his child make him so susceptible to emotions?)

"You're a sorcerer! Merlin, I thought you were my friend!" The last part is barely more than a whisper.

"We were! We still are!" A tear streaks down Merlin's face.

"I could never be friends with a _sorcerer_," Arthur spits out with much malice. "You lot are all evil."

"Not all magic is evil, boy," Balinor intervenes. "It is like a tool, one that only some have. You can use it for good, or you can use it for evil. Yes, many have used it for evil, but there are some who use it for good. Merlin is one of them."

"But...no!" Arthur protests, brow furrowed. "It _is _evil; it corrupts the soul."

"Stop believing the lies your tyrant of a father has told you. He is wrong. He does not have magic. He will never truly understand it. What if I said magic has helped save your life?"

"What?" Arthur almost seems repulsed at the fact.

"Yes. How do you think your wound healed so fast? _Magic_, that's how. And from what I have seen, Merlin has been protecting you with it as well."

"No..." Arthur trails off, slowly losing his conviction.

"Yes. My guess is that he's been saving your life long before you met me, and you are too oblivious to see it! So, if magic can be used in these ways, do you truly think it to be evil?"

He turns away to give him time to think and hopefully choose not to kill Merlin (not if Balinor could help it). Instead of finding Merlin a little ways behind him, he finds him...gone.

Panic rushes through him for a moment before he sees a familiar figure sat at the bank of a nearby stream, hunched over and shoulders shaking. Crying. He notes how small and vulnerable, how child-like Merlin looks at the moment, and has this irrational feeling of failure as a parent. (But really, he had failed from the beginning, hadn't he?)

* * *

It is a while later, as Balinor is working to gather their scattered belongings, that he spots Arthur walking towards Merlin, who hasn't moved from his spot by the water.

He vaguely wonders if Arthur plans to kill him or demand an explanation, but quickly concedes with the latter when the prince simply sits down and starts talking.

He can't hear what is being said, but he now knows for certain that Arthur is not his father. Far from it.

He smiles as Arthur puts an arm around Merlin's shoulders, ruffling his hair with the other hand.

They'll be okay.

* * *

"Balinor."

"Uther."

They glare at one another for an impressive amount of time (Balinor counts 24 seconds) before Gaius coughs, and they snap back to the situation at hand.

"The Great Dragon has escaped and is attacking Camelot. Only a dragonlord can stop it. Will you...help us? Save our people?" Uther seems to be at the end of his patience, uncomfortable consorting with a dragonlord.

"I'm here, aren't I?" he shoots back, annoyance evident in his voice.

He could sense Gaius's disapproval of his blatant disrespect from a mile away.

"You will help us?" Uther asks, surprised.

"Yes, but only if you promise never to persecute me or my kind again."

Everyone in the room knows that Uther has no choice but to agree. The king sighs, nodding his head in resignation, but giving no verbal confirmation.

A few seconds of silence pass. "Is that all?"

"No," Balinor replies, secretly reveling over this control he has over the king. "Promise me that all who have helped me will go unpunished."

"Yes, yes, yes. Now can we-"

"And if I happen to sire a child," Balinor says, struggling not to look at Merlin, who stands a little ways behind Arthur, "you must not a lay a finger on them. Do you agree to my demands?" He could see Gaius's infamous eyebrow raise out of the corner of his eye.

"Yes."

"Then I want it in writing." For he had good reason not to trust Uther's word.

* * *

It is soon after that he rushes into Gaius's chambers during the time it takes for Arthur to get ready for the tiny trip. He wants answers.

Gaius is, as always, grounding out some herb when he opens the door. "Balinor! It has been a long time."

"Yes, it has," he says. "Thank you, again. I owe you a great debt."

"Like I once said, it was no problem at all." Balinor finds a stool to sit on as he thinks through what he wants to say.

"You had some _interesting _propositions earlier," Gaius continues, giving him a knowing look.

"Yes..." Balinor doesn't really know how to bring the topic up, but it seems that Gaius has him covered. He doesn't really know how it is to be a father, and wonders if Merlin knows how it is to be a son.

"You know." It isn't a question.

"It's true, then," Balinor says. "I guess there were too many coincidences to ignore."

"I am surprised you even figured it out. You have always been a bit daft."

"Oi! Is that what Hunith has told you in her letters?" It is the first time he's said her name out loud in years.

"No. But I do know that you are rather terrible at farming."

He grimaces. "I do not object to that statement."

A few seconds pass before his mind seems to have processed something. "Gaius...I have a son!" he exclaims, laughing with far more joy than he has in years. Now that Gaius has confirmed it, he doesn't have to hold back his hopes in fear of being disappointed. He's just _happy_ now, for lack of a better word.

"Does Merlin know?" he asks.

Gaius wearily shakes his head. "I promised Hunith that I'd never speak of this."

Balinor ends up looking around the room, examining the space while Gaius continues grinding his herbs. He sees the tiny room in the back, door ajar and revealing a small bed and clothes and various other belongings strewn all over the floor. Obviously lived in. _Merlin's room_, he thinks.

"He has magic, you now," Gaius mentions.

"Yes, I noticed. We ran into some bandits on the way here. He isn't exactly _subtle_, is he?"

Gaius chuckles. "Trouble always seems to find him. I've warned him against using magic so often, but it is of no use. Magic isn't just a part of him. It _is _him."

Balinor frowns in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"He was born with it."

"Yes, you either have magic or you don't."

"Yes and no, Balinor. Why must you keep thinking this way?" Gaius shakes his head in disapproval. "Magic is a part of everyone, a part of the land itself. But only some have access to it. With Merlin, however, it seems that magic has not only resided in him. It has _chosen _him. Hunith said that he could do magic at just a few days old."

_That explains the lack of verbal spells_, Balinor thinks.

"He is said to be the most powerful warlock to ever live." Gaius looks up, seeming to gauge his reaction.

Needless to say, he needs a clearer explanation. "Isn't that title reserved for Emrys? In the druid prophecies?"

"Yes."

"Then what does this have to do with my son?" _His son__._

A few seconds of silence pass before he finally understands. "Merlin is Emrys?" he asks incredulously.

Gaius's eyebrow says it all.

"Good grief," he mutters, massaging his forehead with a hand. "Am I correct to assume Arthur is the Once and Future King?"

"Yes."

Balinor nods. "They seem to be on the right track, seeming as Merlin hasn't been executed yet."

Gaius nearly drops his pestle. "What makes you say that?"

"Like I said, he isn't very subtle with his magic. Arthur finally saw...and they had a bit of a falling out. But I believe he has forgiven Merlin by now."

Gaius nods and takes the information in stride. "Have you noticed how similar the two of you look? I am surprised nobody's made the connection yet."

He chuckles. "That's good. If Uther found out that I actually _do _have a child..." He trails off.

It is then that the door opens and Merlin walks in. "Gaius!" he greets with a smile.

"Merlin!" The infamous eyebrow is back.

Merlin immediately grows wary. "What?"

He's cuffed on the back of the head by Gaius, and Balinor can't help but laugh. "Ow! What was that for?"

"I warned you to be careful, my boy. Now Arthur knows about your magic!"

"Who told you tha..." He glares accusingly at Balinor, who just smiles innocently in response (all the while looking at Merlin with the new perspective of a father).

He turns back to Gaius. "It's all settled now, though. You don't have to worry!"

"Is it now?" Gaius looks at him dubiously.

"Well, Arthur isn't _that _mad at me, and he says he's not going to kill me or tell the King. I think that is much better than getting burned at the pyre."

Balinor winces at the image of Merlin being executed.

"Yes, but you must still be careful. There are others who will not hesitate to turn you in."

"I will, Gaius."

"Good, now the both of you go save Camelot. I believe Arthur is waiting."

Sure enough, the familiar sound of the prince calling for his manservant could be heard throughout the castle.


	3. The Great Dragon

**Thank you for all the support for this story! It really means a lot, and I actually have some more confidence in my writing now (meaning I don't think it's _that _terrible anymore).**

**So yeah! Please reid and review. Constructive criticism is welcome.**

**Side note: Aaaahhhhh! Criminal Minds is ending tomorrow! :(**

* * *

Balinor reaches for that part of him, deep within, that connects him to the dragons of the world, that made him kin with them ('Them being a certain _one _that was currently terrorizing Camelot. Thanks a lot, Uther!). He remembers how it had felt before he had inherited his powers, the subtle emptiness there, that was suddenly filled with great strength at his father's death. And so he grasps onto that connection and pulls, letting out an almost primal scream to call the Great Dragon towards them, to a clearing in the forests surrounding Camelot.

The moment is soon over, and no, he does not miss the way Arthur and Merlin stare at him in shock and awe (nor how the latter seems to have jumped back about five feet).

"What the _hell _was that?" the prince asks.

"It was a dragon's call. Kilgharrah should be coming in at any moment."

"Kilgha...the dragon has a name?!"

Balinor decides to ignore that as a familiar large figure comes swooping into the clearing. Golden eyes, the color of magic, stare at the threesome with great knowledge and wisdom.

"Young dragonlord, you have summoned me. I did not think I would see you again."

Balinor sighs in regret. "While it-"

"The dragon can talk!" Balinor turns to glare at Arthur, who is, as usual, oblivious to it. "Merlin, do you not see this? It can talk!"

Merlin looks like he is suffocating himself trying not to laugh. On the other hand, the Great Dragon is not amused. "Well yes, young prince. How else can the beings of the world communicate with one another?" Balinor feels that Kilgharrah would've rolled his eyes, had he had the ability to do so.

Arthur splutters, and is, for once, speechless.

"As I was saying, it has been a long time, Kilgharrah, and I wish to express my regret over your imprisonment."

"It has long been forgiven, young dragonlord. The only one to blame is that tyrant, Uther," Kilgharrah says with much heat, shifting his gaze towards Arthur once again, who very much does not appreciate being scrutinized in this way by an intimidating dragon. "Your father has not been kind to the likes of magic."

"Magic has done much evil to my family, to the kingdom. But," he glances at Merlin, "I have learned that it isn't all evil, and that it can be used for good."

"I see," Kilgharrah says, impressed in just the slightest. "I never thought this day would come, when a Pendragon would come to accept magic."

"Well," Arthur says with a smile, "a certain clotpole here managed to convince me that my views were utterly wrong."

"That's my word," Merlin grumbles, but with no malice for there is a hint of a smile blooming on his face.

"But that does not excuse the sins of Uther Pendragon." All of their faces fall, and Balinor thinks the sudden change would've been hilarious had they not been in such a grievous situation.

"But Kilgharrah!" Merlin exclaims. "The people have done nothing to deserve this. Their lives should not be destroyed because of the actions of one person."

"And might I remind you that _that _person happens to be the king? He slaughtered the rest of my kind all because of the actions of one. Are these two situations not similar?"

"You promised," Merlin protests, with all the heat of a child being withheld from a favorite toy.

"Unfortunately for you, promises do not have much power over me. That is why you now have a dragonlord in your midst."

"Yes," Balinor simply says. "If you refuse to stop attacking Camelot, killing innocents, then I will have no choice but to kill you."

The dragon seems resigned to his death. "Before you do that, I must thank you, young warlock, for freeing me, and letting me out of that wretched cavern for my last few days." Kigharrah watches the prince, seeming to gauge his reaction.

"That was you?! _You _were the one who freed the Great Dragon and let him terrorize Camelot?" Arthur asks incredulously.

"He promised," Merlin repeats, glaring at the dragon with all the heat of a kitten. One with fuzzy black fur, as soft as expensive fabric and as dark as the night, and long whiskers that framed its face, along with a long, but thin tail to finish the look. Balinor could just see it.

Arthur simply sighs, and Balinor thinks that he's just gone through so many discoveries in the last few days that nothing will surprise him anymore. (He wonders if the revelation that Merlin is his son would make him react at all.) "So," Arthur says, looking at him and pulling out his sword in the process, "are we going to kill this dragon or not?"

He is just about to cast some spell when Merlin jumps in between them and the dragon, waving his hands frantically and looking ridiculous in every way. "You can't kill him!"

"Merlin, he attacked Camelot. Half the lower town's on fire. What else are we supposed to do?" Arthur asks.

"You...you can command him, right? Tell him to just...go away? Never come back and attack Camelot again? Or any kingdom, really?" And damn it, if his son had _just _a little bit more innocence in him, Balinor was sure he would burst. They had all immediately went towards violence as the answer, while Merlin had wanted to do anything to avoid that.

Balinor was sure that that innocence would have major consequences in the future (already did, considering he let Kilgharrah free because of a _promise_). But for now, he let it go, because he wasn't sure how long it'd last, with Merlin's destiny and all. He always seemed to be carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.

And so he listens to Merlin, some pride swelling in his chest at the fact that his son had thought of the most logical, the _best_, solution to this whole mess. He commands the dragon to do just as Merlin had said, and Kilgharrah bows his head in gratitude.

Apparently, Arthur still hasn't caught up, because he is still in a fighting stance, sword in hand, staring at them as though they have grown more heads. "But...are you out of your minds?! I always knew you were an idiot, Merlin, but really? Oh, actually, you _did _release the dragon, so I really can't expect much from you."

"What's wrong with not killing him?" Merlin asks with a frown.

"What's wrong is that my father wants it dead."

"Well...I wan't exactly aware of that," Merlin says, a wide, mischievous smile growing on his face.

"Yes," Balinor catches on, "he never explicitly stated that we should slay the dragon. He simply said that we needed to stop him from attacking Camelot." He catches Merlin's eyes, and they both stupidly grin. Balinor figures they look pretty alike and all, what with the identical smiles and stuck-out ears, along with the black manes of messy hair.

To his credit, Arthur doesn't notice any similarities and simply sheaths his sword, massaging his brow with a hand. "I am not going to be the one telling my father about this. You two are going to be the death of me. Especially _you_, Merlin. What are you laughing about?"

Merlin just giggles and starts to run away as Arthur begins to chase him. Despite his armor, the prince easily catches up to the gangly boy and tackles him. They end up sprawled on the ground as Arthur grabs him around the neck and roughly rubs his head with his knuckles.

Balinor shakes his head at the sight of them acting like young children. He turns to see Kilgharrah's gaze on the scene, happier than he had ever seen him (if that was even possible for a dragon).

"You know, Balinor. I always thought I felt a deep connection with Merlin. I figured it was because of his great magic, but now I wonder..." He cocks his head to the side, scrutinizing Merlin in a new light as he tries to escape Arthur's grasp.

Balinor simply hums, for what more can be said? He has a son, and his love for Merlin is unquantifiable.

* * *

Needless to say, Uther isn't very happy when they get back.

But Kilgharrah has stopped attacking Camelot, Arthur has accepted magic and accepted Merlin, and Balinor has a son who has the kindest heart.

All is not well yet, but for now, those are the only things that matter.


	4. To Be a Father

Balinor is a coward.

He had already known that after escaping Camelot and leaving Kilgharrah there, proceeding to hide out in the forests for nearly 18 years.

But this just accentuates the fact: he doesn't have the courage to tell Merlin that he is his father. And, out of all the things in the world, the rejection and heartbreak on his son's face is what he fears most.

Gaius had offered to break the news for him, but he figured that Merlin would _definitely _not take it well if his parents were not the ones to do it.

It wouldn't be much of a stretch with Gaius, though. He's noticed how fatherly Gaius is to Merlin. It's in their interactions, and the love and fondness in Gaius's eyes. He has to push down the spark of jealousy that arises, for he owed Gaius, and would always owe him. (He also has the old physician to thank for this whole thing. Without him, Balinor would have never escaped, would have never met Hunith, would have never conceived Merlin. But actually, it was Uther who had started the chain of events. So _really_, he has Uther to thank for Merlin? Nope, that isn't happening.)

In conclusion, Balinor's life is complicated, and it all stems from his birth and his cowardice.

* * *

Hunith comes a few days later, accompanied by two of Camelot's guards.

Gaius had sent a letter (with the vaguest information possible), asking her to come and help him with something regarding Merlin.

Arthur and Merlin had been told that she had missed her son and had wanted to come visit, especially after the dire circumstances of their previous meeting. _("Aww...Merlin, your mother misses you! And you miss her too, don't you? You're such a girl, _Mer_lin.")_

So when Hunith enters Gaius's chambers and sees Balinor, she immediately drops all of her belongings, gasping at the sight of a man she hasn't seen for years.

"Balinor!" she exclaims, rushing to him and throwing her arms around his neck. He wraps her in his arms as well, and they stay there, happy in each other's presence.

A few seconds later (Or was it a few minutes?), she looks up at him, tears in her beautiful blue eyes, and asks, "It's really you?"

"Yes, love," he replies with a smile, "it really is."

She immediately frowns in worry. "Why hasn't Uther killed you on sight? Surely he must have seen you in the castle."

"Well, I helped him with the Great Dragon, and he had no choice but to agree to my demands."

She nods, and then turns to the third occupant of the room, as if just noticing that Gaius is there (which is ironic, since this _is _Gaius's chambers). "Is this what you wanted to speak to me about? Does he know?" she asks, gesturing to him with a tilt of her head.

Gaius nods. "Figured it out before I had the chance to tell him."

Hunith takes a few seconds to absorb all the information. "We have to tell Merlin, don't we?"

"Yes." Balinor runs a hand through his hair. "We didn't know how to break the news, especially because I don't exactly know what it's like to be a father."

She smiles that beautiful smile of hers that he had missed. "Nonsense, you'd be a natural at it! I just know it!"

He laughs (she always managed to do that), and they share a kiss, one that he wishes he could prolong, to make up for all the years he had been gone. But then Merlin bursts through the door, and promptly freezes at the sight that greets him. "Uh...Mother? Balinor? Gaius? Why is...why are they...Gaius! They're...they're kissing! They know one another?! What is going on?"

They quickly break apart, and Balinor figures this isn't the _best _way to tell Merlin, but he's already seen them together, so they just have to go with it.

"Merlin!" Hunith scolds. "You are still as skinny as the last time I saw you! You need to eat more!"

"I _do _eat enough," he grumbles, "but this has nothing to do with me. It has everything to do with you two, who are...lovers? Eww! I don't want to think about that. If I didn't know better, I'd say this was sorcery. Or is it sorcery? Maybe it is! There is no logical explanation for this! I feel like my brain-"

"Merlin," Gaius says, infamous eyebrow ever-present.

"Sorry," Merlin mumbles, abruptly stopping the flow of words.

Hunith steps forward then, hands brushing Merlin's hair back with care. "There's no easy way to say this, my sweet Merlin."

"Just _say _it, Mum. It can't be that bad! For all I know, it could have just been love at first sight or something as horridly romantic as that." He looks expectantly at Hunith, with all the trust of a son. And Balinor can't quite bare to look at him because he knows that that trust will vanish once he hears the truth.

He may never look at Balinor that way.

Hunith sighs. "Balinor is your father, Merlin."

Merlin steps back, eyes widening. "My father?" He looks up at Balinor in a new light, with new knowledge. "My father!"

Balinor tries to smile, but he thinks it turns out strained. Merlin looks down at the floor, wringing his hands out, and then looks up again with tears in his eyes and the expression of a kicked puppy.

Just as Balinor had feared.

"You knew!" He turns to Gaius. "You knew too, didn't you?" He runs a hand through his hair, a habit seemingly taken from Balinor though he doesn't know how. "I deserved to know."

"I'm sorry, Merlin," Hunith consoles him softly. "I didn't want to hurt you."

"You already did," Merlin whispers. He turns to Balinor, who has frozen in place. "Especially you! You couldn't have come back during all those years, at least once? Just once!"

"Merli-" he tries to say.

"I deserved to know," Merlin says brokenly, storming out of the room.

Silence fills the space until Gaius says softly, "Just give him time and space to calm down. I'm sure he's not that angry. He just has a lot to process right now."

Balinor simply sighs. This was not how he had wanted it to go.

* * *

He spends some more time with Hunith, but their reunion is tainted by Merlin's sadness; and so he leaves to go back to his chambers (which Uther had so _graciously _provided him with) to recollect and think over his past actions and everything that has happened.

On the way there, he hears muffled sobbing. He peeks around the corner into a side corridor and sees Merlin, his poor son, left with a destiny so great yet a life so sad.

He's not alone, though.

Arthur is with him, kneeling in front of him and getting his clothes dirty for a servant, for his best friend. Balinor watches as the prince demands that Merlin tell him what is wrong in a surprisingly gentle tone, rubbing his hands up and down Merlin's back and letting him cry into his shoulder, soaking his tunic with tears.

_At least he has a friend_, Balinor thinks. If not a father, then a brother is fine.

As long as his son is happy.

He would do anything to wipe the sadness away.

* * *

A few hours later, he enters Gaius's chambers again, wordlessly trying to help him with his herbs as Hunith gets settled in a nearby room (not with him, or Uther would get suspicious).

She eventually comes in afterwards, with Merlin slightly leaning into her side, eyes red-rimmed and almost every bit the girl that Arthur had described him to be.

He slowly walks up to Gaius and hugs him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it," he mumbles into Gaius's robes. "I was just so...angry! And I already apologized to Mum, and she said it was fine. Everyone thinks everything's fine when everything's not."

"Shh...Merlin, it's alright, despite what you may think," Gaius consoles him, and Balinor wishes he could have a fraction of the bond the two of them have.

They break apart, and Merlin proceeds to step up to him awkwardly. "So you're my father."

"Er, yes," he says in response, almost as awkwardly as Merlin had.

"I don't...I don't really know how to act around you. But we can't avoid each other for all of eternity...unless you want to?" Merlin quirks an eyebrow at him.

Balinor chuckles. "I've never had that much patience."

His son gives him a hesitant smile. Not quite that goofish grin that usually lit up his face, but close enough. "So let's start over, I guess." Merlin holds out his hand. "Hello!" he says in a cheery voice. "I'm Merlin, like the scary birds. You've probably heard that I'm the royal prat's manservant, and I happen to be your son!"

Balinor reaches out to shake his hand with a firm grip. This Merlin here was not the one drowned in prophecy and magic, but one with a childlike innocence who just wanted a father. This was a happier Merlin, and he would try his hardest to keep it that way. "Well then. Hello, Merlin. I am Balinor, recently thought to have been the last dragonlord. How have you been?"

"Just cheery, if only Arthur would stop giving me so many chores."

And that is the shaky start to their relationship.

* * *

**This is THE END, guys! Let's just hope Balinor succeeds as a father.**

**Thank you for all the follows and favorites and reviews. They all warmed my heart, and I loved contributing to this fandom's life (even seven years late).**


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